Friday, July 2, 2010


I managed just the one coffee yesterday and boy was I feeling it by the end of the day! I don't think I am going to be able to avoid those nasty withdrawl headaches which is going to make cutting back to none all that much harder. I realised something today - I am a much happier person with caffiene in my blood stream! Without it I feel less myself - short tempered (apologies in advance to my workmates who have to deal with me all day!), a bit flat and a bit down and out. Is it better to drink coffee and be happy or not drink coffee and feel miserable but potentially increase my chances of getting pregnant? Can someone please remind me WHY coffee is bad for me while TTC? I wish I didn't have to feel like I have to do all these things just to concieve our much longed for baby. Why can't I be one of those woman who can drink and eat normally and then have a drunken night out on the wine and WULLAH preggers. Please?!

It sucks that we feel like we have to do so much just to concieve a baby through IVF when most couples concieve a baby without any effort at all. We have to fork out the dollars AND quit everything that we enjoy in life - coffee, chocolate, wine . . . you get the picture. See! No caffiene and I am suddenly all down and out. I am also having a sudden freak out about the next cycle not working. Now that it is creeping closer it is more real that this is our last chance at a baby without somehow having to find the money to carry on trying. That makes it so terribly scary for me as I don't know how we would find the money and it seems so unfair that we could potentially have to give up our quest to be parents based on something as hollow as finance. Can you put a price on having a child? I don't think you can so I guess we would just have to find a way . . .


  1. In an effort to try and mitigate the caffeine-induced unhappiness - I really love the wallpaper you've found!
    Much love and well wishes and good vibes for the next cycle...!
    Ngaire xox

  2. It does suck that we have to go through soooo much effort to have a baby and actually REALLY want one when there are so many unwanted pregnancies out there :(

    I'm currently having some tests after recurrent miscarriages so it's all a waiting game for me too. BUT, we will have a baby one way or the other and it will all be worth it in the end.

    You're a brilliant writer by the way and I'll be following you :)

  3. Caffine is a known cause of miscarriage so one thing that might help you get through the withdrawals and cravings is to get a coffee mug with a picture of a baby on it. That way you can evaluate if that cup of coffee is really worth it or if you can kick the habbit for the bigger prize at the end.

  4. i totally understand the coffee thing but mine is tea, i can happily drink up to 10 cups a day! now i am on my third ivf cycle (no positive results yet) i have cut it down to 2 maybe 3. my counseller said am i really going to put myself through all this and maybe less my chances for a few cups of tea (yes my head screamed!), it kind of put things into perspective.
    i also think i will NEVER cope if this cycle doesnt work, but you know i am on number three, will lots of complications on the way, and i have survived, so has my relationship, and if this one doesnt work i will pick myself up and start again, you will find the money, as one of the nurses said to me, most people tend to get there in the end
    good luck xxxxxxxxxxx

  5. Thank you! Now I remember why I have to do it and I know I am not the only one having a tough time of it. Addiction is so hard to break and I think I can honestly say that my coffee craving is an addiction. I've done it once and I can do it again!! Good luck girls with your cycles and investigations too!! xox

  6. Hi, I love your write from the heart which we can all relate to on this journey....there are plenty of heart felt moments ! We are currently on our 3rd IVF with 4 natural miscarriages behind has been a very long roller coaster but we know we will get there in the end ! Hopefully this round, but if not we will NEVER, NEVER, NEVER give up (I have this plaque splattered around the house to provide a constant reminder) ! Oh and the caffeine is a buggar but I guess we will do anything to realise our dream ! Keep up the great blogs and wishing you every success as well !