Ok, so I read an article on the web the other day that had been posted by another blogger that spoke about how infertile couples aren't bringing awareness to their cause through speaking out because people are 'ashamed' to be going through it. It also spoke about how once an infertile has a child they often turn their back on the cause and try to forget what it was like to experience it. I tend to agree with some points of this article. I understand how it is a very personal issue and in some circumstances it is in our best interests to keep it to ourselves, but I also think that we do need more people to step out of their comfort zone and bring more attention to our cause so we can achieve the healthcare that we deserve. If we don't, who will? Secondly, I do think it is sometimes forgotten about once a pregnancy is achieved and I have been hurt by this a few times.
Case in point, a couple of years ago I was really supportive of a girl I met on one of the forums I post on. She had been told devastating news and was really down in the dumps and depressed so I emailed her frequently just to make sure she was ok. Several months later she became pregnant and of course I was THRILLED for them. But after the happy news came silence. Obviously I am still on this road to parenthood myself but have I heard another word from her to ask me how I am coping? Offering support in return? No I have not. And it hurts me that I was there for them when they needed it the most, but as soon as they achieved their dream then I was immediately forgotten as they got caught up in their joyful news. I am sure I am not the only one who feels like this. I have vowed that if I achieve a pregnancy before other friends of mine in my situation, that I will never do to them what was done to me. It hurts enough to be left behind, but it hurts even more when people you considered friends don't want to be reminded of the pain they went through by continuing a relatonship with those of us still going through that pain and uphill battle of emotion every single day. Or they don't know what to say, so they chose to say nothing and leave us feeling isolated and alone. This is something I have kept inside for a long time but after I read that article I realised I needed to get it out there. Don't get me wrong, I have some wonderful friends who I have made on this journey who now have beautiful bundles of joy and are still amazing but unfortunately there are a tiny few who haven't. So when you do achieve your dream, please don't forget those of us who are still struggling. Your success is what gives us hope.
Here is the article if you're interested: