Is it just me or are there others out there who have wardrobes that are so old and crappy that it's just plain embarrassing? I'm sure I'm not alone and I know at least one other person who agrees with me on this point. I've brought hardly any nice clothes in the last two and half years and my wardrobe is in serious need of a makeover . . .
See, in the beginning I didn't see the point in buying any new clothes because I was so sure it was just a matter of time until I would be pregnant so there was no point in wasting all that money on clothes that I wouldn't be able to fit for long anyway! Then of course it was one thing to try after another to try and get pregnant! Clomid, laparoscopy, hysteroscopy and then the IVF that I was in a constant mindset of 'no point in buying anything, I'll just be wasting my money because once I'm pregnant I won't be able to wear them'. Then I spent all my clothes money on acupuncture and chinese herbs and the million other 'miracle cures' that I no longer had any spare cash FOR clothes. In fact I spent so much money on Elevit, Menevit and everything else that I just never got around to buying ANYTHING nice for myself. Even now I still find myself in a constant limbo of never buying anything because IVF is starting again in September and I could be pregnant and therefore there is no point! It is a never ending merry-go-round.
So in the two and half years that I have been sure pregnancy is just around the corner I have lost all sense of fashion - I have brought cheap clothes to get by (which I have then decided I hate and never wear), I have my favourite clothes that are falling apart at the seams, others which I no longer fit because the IVF makes you gain weight (joy!) and to top it all off my hair is a mess because I can no longer afford 3 monthly hair appointments . . perhaps I just need to throw caution to the wind and do a huge shopping spree and get myself a complete makeover! And then no doubt, I will get pregnant and have all these gorgeous expensive clothes I will never fit again and which I would have been better off buying two years ago . . .
See, in the beginning I didn't see the point in buying any new clothes because I was so sure it was just a matter of time until I would be pregnant so there was no point in wasting all that money on clothes that I wouldn't be able to fit for long anyway! Then of course it was one thing to try after another to try and get pregnant! Clomid, laparoscopy, hysteroscopy and then the IVF that I was in a constant mindset of 'no point in buying anything, I'll just be wasting my money because once I'm pregnant I won't be able to wear them'. Then I spent all my clothes money on acupuncture and chinese herbs and the million other 'miracle cures' that I no longer had any spare cash FOR clothes. In fact I spent so much money on Elevit, Menevit and everything else that I just never got around to buying ANYTHING nice for myself. Even now I still find myself in a constant limbo of never buying anything because IVF is starting again in September and I could be pregnant and therefore there is no point! It is a never ending merry-go-round.
So in the two and half years that I have been sure pregnancy is just around the corner I have lost all sense of fashion - I have brought cheap clothes to get by (which I have then decided I hate and never wear), I have my favourite clothes that are falling apart at the seams, others which I no longer fit because the IVF makes you gain weight (joy!) and to top it all off my hair is a mess because I can no longer afford 3 monthly hair appointments . . perhaps I just need to throw caution to the wind and do a huge shopping spree and get myself a complete makeover! And then no doubt, I will get pregnant and have all these gorgeous expensive clothes I will never fit again and which I would have been better off buying two years ago . . .
The life of a limboland TTCer!!
OMG Haidee, you have written down my life story. EXACTLY to a tee! 6 years during TTC. And now i'm still wearing my maternity cargo pants "cause i need to shed 10kg before i buy new clothes". Bloody bullshit. My hair looks like a mop. I reckon we should both go and get a massive makeover. Oh and it's not just clothes with me, it' also the job. I should have left when i was there for only 2 years. But it was always the "might get PG soon and should have something stable" blah blah. Nearly ten years later..........Athena
ReplyDeleteOh, Haidee, I know in my heart of hearts that you will get there. I can see you as a mother very clearly. And when it happens, Love, nothing will change in regards to your wardrobe! You will wear tracksuit pants to the shops, sometimes no bra, makeup is a distant memory. But...you dont even think about it. It's just the way it is. Peace and strength xx
ReplyDeletelol this post is funny. I've had some maternity pants I brought when I had my miscarriage and each week I keep telling myself I will sell them on TradeMe but then the following week I change my mind depending on if my infertility mood has lifted. I so did exactly what you are doing with clothes before we had Joshua xo
ReplyDeleteThis post makes me laugh... I love how you have an amazing way of blogging what I'm sure we all go through living in this limboland of TTC... I'm so new to reading your blog but it is such a breathe of fresh air to know I'm not the only one going through all the same crazy thoughts and struggles :) It's kinda nice to be able to actually have a giggle about it all... being that most of the time it feels so serious, thank you :) xx
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