I just had one of those moments. You know that ones where you think about something and then 'ping!' I just realised that this will be my 3RD IVF cycle in one year! I mean I knew that but I hadn't really thought about it properly until now. Whatever happened to IVF being the miracle cure? Celebrities would have you believe it's easy and works every time. Only a select few even admit to using it but the mainstream opinion is always 'Oh, well if I can't get pregnant naturally then I will just do IVF' Like it's a definate cure. It's not. It's physically and emotionally draining. We don't all have live in nurses on standby to give us our injections so all we have to do is relax while the staff prepare healthy meals and we don't have to worry about a thing. They have endless supplies of money so finances aren't an issue. If only!
In reality it is alot more complicated than jabbing yourself and then voila BABY! A long IVF cycle takes just over 65 days from beginning to end. We put ourselves into menopause and experience all the symptoms that brings with it - hot flushes, mood swings, fatigue, headaches. For three weeks we stab ourselves with needles then for two more weeks we stab ourselves with needles TWICE a day. To a strict military schedule. One little slip and it could be over. Socialising becomes difficult because you might have to inject yourself and the drugs have to be kept in the fridge so you often can't go out and then friends stop inviting you (especially if you are keeping your infertility a secret). Which equals isolation. Then of course there is the egg collection and the waiting and the 2WW to find out if it's worked. Torture. I know I make it sound really bad and when you're actually doing it then I guess it's not that bad but I just hate the assumption that it's an easy fix, because in reality it's alot harder than that. I wish there were more celebrities willing to step up and tell it like it really is instead of lying through their teeth and proclaiming it was 'all natural' or that doing it was 'easy'. Celine Dion is the only one I can think of off the top of my head who is actually open about the difficulties.
Even people close to me are naive about the realities of IVF and seemed surprised it didn't work. But here I am approaching IVF#3. And still no bubba. I have been on this rollarcoaster for nearly THREE years. And I didn't expect that. I really didn't think I would be the last one of my forum friends to be still waiting for a baby. But here I am and I guess if I have to be here then I am going to write it how it is. I try to keep my blog amusing as I do tend to live my life with glass half full but sometimes it can be exhausting and I don't want to make it seem like this isn't hard.
Now, I just hope I can bring the happy ending that everyone is hoping for!
I'm sorry you've had to go through all of this. I hope the third time's a charm and you finally get your baby.
ReplyDeleteI tend to get cranky with people who assume that IVF, IUI, or adoption are the easy answers. I know I shouldn't, because really it's not their fault for making assumptions... they just don't know any better. That and they get their education from articles about celebrities like Celine Dion who declare that they are just going to keep doing IVF for as long as it takes.
ReplyDeleteI'm crossing my fingers crossed for you this cycle!
I love your writing style and your take on things!
ReplyDeleteI too am getting ready to go into my third FET cycle since JUNE!!! I am not doing traditional IVF though, I will give birth to my adopted children via embryo adoption.
Anyway, I agree with you wholeheartedly. Its NOT easy. IVF is DEVASTATING when it doesn't work the FIRST or SECOND time around, isn't it. Its absolutely heartbreaking. Period. Here's to the third time being the charm!
Happy ICLW #171
Totally agree. We are the last ones standing in our friends and family as well, they have all got blissfully pregnant and now have beautiful baby one and most two as well. We are nearly four years down the track and I still find it hard to believe we are still waiting too. We have also written a blog and are in NZ. We did this for our friends and family so they could understand, but they still don't. If you are intrested our blog is www.flyflybutterfly@wordpress.com. Best wishes for your next cycle and I will be with you along the way. Kia Kaha (Be Strong)
ReplyDeleteSo true! It is long and hard. Luckily I've only had to do one "fresh" cycle so far this year because I was lucky enough to get some for the freezer. But even the FET's are hard, the waiting is hard. Good luck, let hope this is the one for you!
ReplyDeleteOh, so true. There is absolutely nothing easy about any of this. Hoping for your happy ending this time!
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing what we go through, isn't it? And it's crazy that more people don't talk about infertility.
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping that cycle #3 is lucky for you!!
You are saying wullah. What is that? I think you mean voila, the French word meaning "there it is". Love your blog and best of luck with your IVF cycle. You deserve a baby.
ReplyDeleteHahaha - yes, I meant voila! I was typing in a real hurry this morning as I was supposed to be starting work but wanted to get it posted so wrote it as I heard it in my head and didn't stop to think! Thanks everyone for the well wishes!
ReplyDeleteYou know, I think many celebrities struggle with infertility as much as we do. They might have the money to go to the best clinics in the country, but as we all know, no-one can guarantee success. My bet is that even Celine Dion is as nervous as any other infertile woman currently carrying twins.
ReplyDeleteHowever, that doesn't make it any easier for you. It's not fair that you're still here on your third IVF with no baby in your arms. I hope that your doctor has perfected the magical dose of stims for this cycle, and your eggs come out shining and perfect.
Haidee Babe,
ReplyDeleteI just want to give you a massive big hug! - I understand how much you must be hurting, being one of the last of the "oldies" from BC to fall pregnant.. but please know we are continually thinking of you, and praying a little miracle comes your way.. Stay strong, and you're doing a wonderful job with your blog <3
Love Nikki xoxo
I know how hard it is to go through so many IVFs...I've been there. I can only say that doing so many made me stronger and more ready for the next one...even though you're so right, they weren't an easy fix! To this day, I remember so vividly how difficult each one was and I'm working on a memoir of my experiences. I do hope you finally get a cycle that achieves you your "bubba"! Thanks for stopping by my blog! Happy ICLW! (#119 & 120)
ReplyDeleteHere from the Stirrup Queen's Friday roundup. I have a love-hate relationship with Celine Dion -- her singing is a little too over the top for my tastes, & yes, she has the money to keep at it until she succeeds -- but I will give her all the credit in the world for her willingness to speak out (& with such honesty) about infertility & miscarriage. You are so right, too many people think of IVF as an easy fix. It's not. Good luck to you!
ReplyDeleteHere from the Roundup. I totally agree with your post. We haven't told very many people about our infertility, and some people who do know that we are struggling don't know that we're now at the IVF stage, because we're never sure how people will react.
ReplyDeleteIt is so hard to explain just how all-consuming this process is- physically, emotionally, mentally, financially. It takes a giant toll on you, your relationship, your life. I, too, wish more celebrities would be open about the true cost of IVF.
I hope third time proves lucky in your case! Good luck with this cycle.
It pisses me off when people hold IVF up to be the solution to all problems as soon as you mention the word infertility. In reality IVF actually has very low success rates and believe it or not it doesn't work for some at all.
ReplyDeleteWhen I tell anyone that we've been ttc for 11 years and have had 8 miscarriage, 9 out of 10 people will say "well have you tried IVF?" and I'm tired of saying "well actually that will do sweet fa for us".
Arrrrgh! LOL sometimes it just feels like us infertiles are playing the same record on repeat over and over - maybe one day people will start listening?
xxx
You sound like me. IVF and infertility rocks, don't you think? :)
ReplyDeleteIt is incredibly hard work. And, I hope it is fruitful for you soon!
ReplyDeleteEverything you said is so true! Except by round 4, 5, and 6 you get real casual about stuff. Like timing for instance, the only shot that needs to be right on schedule is the trigger shot, and refrigeration is pretty much optional unless it's a gazillion degrees in your house. I remember shooting myself up at a friend's wedding in the bathroom during cycle #2.
ReplyDeleteIt took until cycle number 4 before I took a baby home, two babies in my case. I wish you all the luck in the world that cycle 3 is your magic number!!!
I never would've thought it would be so hard...until I went through it. I don't think people around me get even still--they keep saying things like, "Now that you're pregnant, I bet you'll get pregnant again right away!" Really?
ReplyDeleteHoping third time's the charm! HUGS!
ICLW, #171
Here from the Friday Round-up. Thanks for your honesty on the difficulties. Here's hoping to #3 being that 'one'. (((hugs)))
ReplyDelete