I'm at that stage now. The stage where I am feeling oversensitive to everything. Those of you have done an IVF cycle before know what I mean - the part where all the drugs mingle together to alter your hormone levels and mix you up. This is tough and being my third cycle I am completely and utterly terrified. I have done a great job of putting it out of my head until now but the anxiety is kicking in. My cat woke me up at 2am (again by tipping over the bin in our room and proceeding to make a racket to wake me up so he could go outside) and then I went back to sleep and dreamt for the remainder of the night. I am tired and fed up. I desperately want a coffee. I am CRAVING caffiene like you wouldn't believe.
Money issues are also causing stress. I can't believe how close we are to Christmas and I haven't even THOUGHT about Christmas shopping. I am usually THAT girl that everyone hates who has it all finished and wrapped by the 1st December. This year I don't even know how we are going to afford to pay for presents. I am one of those woman who hate to be in debt and due to the nature of life at the moment our credit card is at the highest I have ever allowed it to be. And it stresses me out. And then to top it off the HG called this morning to say that the alarm is going off at home and the security company was going to go out and check it out = a $60 call out fee. I never get to buy anything nice for myself anymore because I am juggling bills and spending what little money is left over on acupuncture that costs me $66 a pop and I still don't have a baby to show for what is now thousands of dollars spent on acu in the last year and a bit. I don't even enjoy it anymore but feel like I have to go because if I don't it will jeopardise this cycle.
I think it's all just getting on top of me at the moment and I need a good sleep. Preferably without dreams.
I think it's all just getting on top of me at the moment and I need a good sleep. Preferably without dreams.
so sorry to hear its such a tough time. sincerly hope the end result is a good one
ReplyDeleteYou need to be not so hard on yourself love ....relax ....i know it is hard ....trust me i know ...my fingers are crossed for you
ReplyDeleteYou are not being silly, it is just this part of our cycles. The prioritising of things that are important in life are playing on your mind. A trick I use to do was to write down things as they bothered me, pop the piece of paper into a "worry jar" and at the end of the week sit down and pull them out one at a time, if it doesn't cause you anymore worry, throw it out, and if it does put it back in. I found it really good to do and it is surprising at the end of a tough week how many things dont worry you anymore.
ReplyDeleteI can sympathise with the dreams too, I think the drugs contribute to our sense of reality and play on our minds, interupt the sub concious and steals our sanity.
Thinking of you,
Kaz