Wednesday, October 20, 2010

CRAZY MUCH?

Yep, the craziness is starting to set in! I just want to know now. I really have no idea either way. At this point last time I already knew it hadn't worked. Call it gut instinct or the fact I had had cramping right from transfer and all OHSS symptoms had gone away (if I was pregnant then they would have intensified, not gone away) but I knew it was going to be a BFN. This time around I am clueless. The only time I have had cramping was during the weekend which would have been days 3 and 4 after transfer. Since then I've had nothing. I did wake up at about 4am this morning and have a wave of nausea but not sure whether to read anything into that. And a bit of a dizzy spell in the shower but from 4am onwards I hadn't slept well so potentially that was just plain tiredness. Otherwise, I just feel kinda blah - headachy, bloated and a bit like a cold is on it's way. But really, who bloody knows!

We won't be doing any HPT (home pregnancy tests for those of you unfamiliar with the lingo!) because the HG won't let me. I'm in two minds - it would be nice to test and have a heads up before THAT phone call but at the same time I would like to hold onto the hope just that little bit longer. And I don't want to make myself crazier. I just can't imagine it ever being me announcing that BFP and I don't want to get my hopes up only to have them crushed. I'm still trying to decide whether I want the HG to take the results phone call or whether I want to take it myself. Decisions, decisions! Last time I had spotting on the day of the BT (14dpo) and this time it is actually 15dpo I have my BT, so no spotting would be a good sign. Not sure if the progynova will prevent my period this time though? Anyone?

Aaaaggghhh . . . 5 more sleeps!

18 comments:

  1. you are a stronger woman then I am, I keep saying I am not going to POAS but I am pretty sure I will end up giving in.

    Sending you lots of Sticky Vibes!!!

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  2. Wow I am amazed by your story! Recently found your blog from the fertility NZ site.
    You can do this. I remember those same feelings. After 5 years of trying, one failed cycle, 8 eggs but none fertilised (that phone call sucked!!), then a second cycle, 19 eggs and 2 fertilised, implanted one and waited for the test. I got hubby to take the phone call because I was such a mess after the last failed cycle, I didn't think I could cope with it. Lucky for us it was positive and now we have a beautiful little girl, 17mths old.
    But those memories still haunt me. I would recommed not doing a HPT and if you do take the call make sure you have someone with you. Don't do it on your own. I'm not sure about the progynova but hang in there luv. Deep breaths and lots of positive thoughts when they draw that blood!!!!

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  3. Wishing you all the luck in the world. I also know what you mean, Im having IUI tomorrow, then will be waiting for result, I cant imagine ever being able to tell friends and family its worked, it just kinda seems like a dream. But fingers crossed for you, chin up, and I think you have been so brave and no one can fault you for lack of trying. What an amazing story to tell your child one day about how much of a miracle he/she was and how much you wanted it. When these days there are so many people who have children and take them forgranted and dont really want them. what love you will have for your baby. And im it doesnt happen there is never a end of the road as far as im concerned, there are always more corners, another path, an extra road that gets build, and one of those will lead you to the prize! stay strong, I have enjoyed reading your blog. Thankyou

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  4. Good luck! When are you likely to get the call? Fingers crossed :)
    Ngaire xx

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  5. It all just sounds so positive but of course we can't read into these things can we ;)
    Still keeping everything crossed for you and impatiently waiting the next 4 days!

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  6. I actually think you're doing really well! lol I think my crazy would have set in days ago. Must be so hard not to test! You're nearly there Haidee!

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  7. Agree with HG, pregnancy tests this early are not accurate. Just got to be paitient, easier said then done. Fingers and toes all crossed. Positive thinking.

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  8. Sounding very positive so far Haidee!! Keep everything crossed for you. Hope the next 4 day goes quickly for you.. I also agree with HG don't do a test wait for the call..

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  9. Carole (of Wellington)October 20, 2010 at 3:50 PM

    Hon, your story sounds so much like mine! I over-stimulated, got poor quality eggs and very shaggy embryos that didn't thaw well when frozen. None of mine ever made it to blast.

    But I have two very healthy IVF children. My grade 2 very shaggy embryo that they wouldn't even replace these days is now a 12 year old athlete. My later cycles had much lower response rates, and better quality embryos. I had day 3 replacement - none of the high quality spares made it to blast - but one of those inside is now my 8 year old bookworm.

    It is the hardest thing you will ever do but your chances are great. If not this time, then next. Don't be afraid of hope.

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  10. I don't know how you're doing this, I'm feeling so nervous and excited for you!!

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  11. thinking of you Haidee and wishing you the best of luck!!! xo

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  12. Wow, I have a lot of respect for your determination not to poas. Not sure I could do the same.

    Getting closer though. Hoping and praying your wish finally comes true.

    Hang in there!

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  13. I don't have fertility issues and feel like a bit of an intruder stalking you and wishing all the best for you. I just can't wait for your happy ending. However I do have a HPT that is brand new in the pharmacy bag still taped if you want it. We have decided no more kids here and it was a case of buying the test but by the time I got home from the pharmacy AF arrived. It is a shame to waste $20 something dollars so if you can use it or want to use it just let me know and I will post it down. Understand if you don't want to as well.

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  14. Progesterone kept away AF for my IUIs, but not during my IVF cycle. No idea why - perhaps my corpus luteum was helping out more during the IUIs. Five days is a long way away, but this time next week you will have an answer. Good luck.

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  15. Hold out! Go to the library and find a good novel and READ! You can do it! (My fingers are crossed for a happy phone call for you in less than a week!) -Melissa

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  16. Thanks for the offer Raewyn but we're just so close now I think I'll wait it out! You are not an intruder!!

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  17. No worries. Good luck for your blood test. If you want a souvenier HPT after your BFP (whenever it is but I am feeling positive for this cycle)the offer is still open. I am from OB username kiwi2 if you need to pm.

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  18. You can do it Haidee! Its sounding so good for you...that heavy feeling for me turned into stretchy/stitch type aches until I was 16wks pg. I was never MORE sure I wasn' pg, than the cycle we actually fell.
    Thinking of you!

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