Friday, September 3, 2010


Last night I met up for coffee with a friend who is also doing IVF at the moment. So what do you have when you can't actually drink coffee? Why, Cappucino Cheesecake of course! With whipped cream. Mmmmm.

Anyway, we were talking about how far we were willing to go to make our dream come true and how much money we were willing to fork over to the fertility clinic in our pursuit of a baby. How much is too much? The HG and I have already decided that if this next cycle doesn't work then we will take a year off and save a bit of money and then we would (if eligible - big gulp!) spend $25k (courtesy of the bank!) and do the 3 cycles and a baby or 70% of your money back scheme. Then if that didn't work we would pursue other avenues. My friend said she would just keep spending until it worked. Yet another friend said she wouldn't spend money on fertility treatment. I figure if I can't get pregnant within 6 IVF cycles then it probably isn't going to work. But I can totally see how you could be driven to just keep going. What would you do?


  1. Thats a really hard question isnt it. I think we all put so much of ourselves on hold throughout this that for me personally the thought of continuing to be in limbo and every second of my time taken up thinking about it makes me break out in a cold sweat. We will be putting a limit on our IVF attempts, although not sure yet what that limit will be.

  2. I have a friend who has an ovulatory disorder and before she even reached the one year mark she told me she would never do fertility treatments or at the most she would only do one IVF. She got pregnant on her second cycle of clomid before trying for a year. My husband and I have decided that we will spend what we need to for our biological baby. We are willing to consider donor egg/sperm, but getting pregnant is really important to me. So, basically, we are going to proceed until succeed!

  3. I wish I could say I'm willing to "proceed until succeed" (love that slogan, christine!). I said I'd only do this one IVF cycle. Now that it's nearing the end, and I fear negative news on Tuesday, I'm reconsidering. I had a slow response rate to the stims so with a different protocol, I'm probably willing to give it another try. I know I will always wonder what-if--unless I give it a second try.

    My IF benefits have now been depleted (8 IUIs and part of this IVF cycle) so it's hard for me to fathom $20k a cycle...on our own. Honestly, I've considered finding a job at a company with more generous IF benefits. It would be worth it financially :)

  4. Hi there! I'm starting ICLW early, I guess? Mmm, cappuccino cheesecake. Sounds yummy! I think that if IVF turned out to be what we needed to undertake...whew, tough question. I guess I would hope to enroll in a shared-risk program? These are such big, tough decisions to make.

  5. I've just had the bad news that this baby isn't going to be made the old fashioned way, and IVF is our only option. I guess that for me the cost isn't just the dollars. How much stress and potential for poor health am I willing to 'spend'? IVF can't be good for you.
    Any comments on how anyone else made the decision to go ahead with IVF would be gratefully received.

  6. As you know i would have gone all the way to have a baby - no matter what. Even though my Callum came naturally and a miracle i was already booked in to start my 3rd cycle of IVF and even before that i spent thousands of dollars of other fertility treatments, chinese herbs and other products. Even my gym membership was hundreds of $$ so i could get healthier both mind and body. I would have borrowed, begged, saved, done anything to keep going until my body said "no more" or my ovarian reserve depleted.Still loving your blog Haidee and good luck with this cycle. Athena xox

  7. That's always a tough one. I mean, deep down you wonder how else you could spend that money (vacations, home improvements, etc.). We did 3 cycles and then went for the shared risk (the one you mention). Figures, it works on the first try, so the company made a nice chunk of money, but no regrets of course. If it hadn't worked within the parameters of the shared risk, we would have pursued adoption -- at least you're guaranteed a child eventually, right?

  8. Discussed this with DH. We would do the two free cycles, and if no joy, look at overseas for donor cycles (ie San Diego). I figure if the protocols they use here don't work, I would go for a place who thinks outside the square with regards to maximising chances of pregnancy and not just numbers of eggs.

  9. I had a friend who decided to go straight to international adoption. Her reasoning was that at least she had a guarantee of a baby at the end. However her baby didn't come until she was 7 months old so there was certain sacrifices other than the pregnancy side of things. I think it comes down to personal choices. What is ok for one is not ok for others. No-one has the perfect solution you just need to do what is right for your family.

  10. We are very lucky to have six cycles funded for us (although I do pay 45% tax on a five-figure income). So our "how far would you go" question involves other factors.

    For us, if this cycle doesn't work, we have agreed to try one or two more with our own genetic material, and then move on to donor eggs/sperm/embryos.

    The cycles are tough, emotionally and physically, but from what I have read, pregnancy and childbirth are even more difficult. So I'm in it for the long haul.

  11. Im in the "proceed until succeed" catagory.

    Although as I already have a daughter I wouldnt compromise her future by putting myself into too much debt.

    I know if I didnt have my daughter I would pursue every path I could to motherhood.

  12. i am willing to risk my life.... and will do next year.....
    I have 3 children, have lost 8 babies.
    but still think about this all the time.....
    i can't imagine how it is for you.
    i wish I could do this for you.
    I wish i could give you a BFP without all the pain and heart break.
    If we did not have our own, we would foster... I have a foster-daughter who is 28. i was about 19 when she came to me.
    and i still love her like my own