Monday, June 21, 2010


"I believe that certain people come into your life for a
reason and they change your life when you don't expect it.
These are the people you will never forget"

After our first IVF cycle was cancelled prior to egg pick up I needed a break. It had been two years of trying to have a baby by this point and I was physically and emotionally exhausted by it all . . . so on the spur of the moment I booked a flight to Melbourne for a holiday and to meet some amazing women who I had connected with over the years. I have been a part of some online forums for three years now and I can honestly say that they have been the only thing that has kept me sane for so long! Over that time I have been a part of three different boards and for a year or so of that time I  was co-mod on one of them. I have seen many women come and go, achieving their dream of becoming a mother. I have also seen some women leave without a baby for reasons beyond their control and for those women my heart breaks. I have met women who have suffered devastating losses that I can't even comprehend but I am in awe of how they have coped and they are some of the strongest and most amazing women I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. Then there are those of us who are still battling on and refusing to give up on our dream no matter how hard it is or how much the odds are against us. Some of them have been trying alot longer than I have and I just hope that one day soon we will all get the opportunity to hold our newborn baby in our arms. I cannot express enough how valuable I have found the support, love, advice and friendship that has been shown to me over this time and going on holiday and getting to meet a small group of these brilliant woman was just what I needed to pick me up and give me the strength to carry on and it also gave me a much needed break from it all!

When I ponder the beautiful friendships I have made it makes me realise that although this journey wasn't one I would have chosen for myself I am glad I have been on it . . . I know that sounds crazy after I have said how much infertility sucks but at the end of the day, if I hadn't had infertility I wouldn't have all these wonderful women in my life. I look back and think that my husband and I have learnt so much on this path - we started TTC at 25 years old and are now 28 years old. Our marriage is stronger and we have discovered what a wonderful team we make. I also think we will be better parents because of it as we have been taught patience! I read something once that said that everybody has something - I may be dealing with the struggle to concieve while another may be dealing with a broken marriage, cancer, money problems, recurrent miscarriage, depression, a sick child . . . everyone has something and we just have to take the hand we are dealt and try to make the most of it and learn from it and become a stronger person for it.

Having said all that though I really hope it will be our turn soon!


  1. Great post! I've made some lifelong friends as well and I always say that someone has everything and infertility is my thing. And yes you are right, I definately feel I am a better parent because of what I have experienced. You are 100% right on everything in this post xo

  2. Ditto Hon - couldn't have said it better myself xxxx

  3. we love you Haidee, and can't imagine life without you. you have held me up at times when i would have given up thank you

  4. For all of us on BC, we feel the same way sweety!

    None of us, I don't think, could have gotten through each of our own battles without each other, where/whatever they may be for us.


  5. Love your blog hon. Ditto to everything you have said. TTC for 6 years and 3 on BC. I've been a member on nearly all the boards: AT, MC, AT 12+, AC, Sept 09 and now one child families. I never would have been able to get through this journey without you and the girls. And one day we will meet. Athena xox