I HAVE FALLEN OFF THE TTC WAGON . . .

I have been so good for so long that when the last IVF cycle failed I went a bit wild . . . not wild in what most people would consider wild but wild as in I have fallen off the TTC (trying to concieve) wagon. Let me explain - for two years I have done everything under the sun to get pregnant. Pregnancy multi's (a million different brands as if it would make a difference!), Folic acid, fortnightly acupuncture, Chinese herbs, fish oil tablets, Vitamin B tablets, Primrose oil tablets, Green Tea, Raspberry Leaf tea, Vitex, Kinesiology, Hypnotherapy, No alcohol, healthy eating, cut out the caffiene . . . you name it and I've probably done it! I even have a Thai Fertility Statue beside my bed!! None of which have worked. So what happens when you have been so good for so long and then you get a BFN  (big fat negative) on your second IVF cycle and have a 3 month break before you start again? You guessed it! You fall off the good girl wagon. I now need to join coffeholics annonymous. Is there such a thing? If so, I really need to join! As I have mentioned before, coffee is my vice. But I quit. And then I started again, the DAY I knew it was all over and I wasn't pregnant. I have gone from none to 4 a day . . . and now I need to quit again. CRAP! On top of that I have stopped my elevit tablets, keep forgetting the folic acid, stopped drinking green tea, haven't had acupuncture in a couple of months, no chinese herbs, sausage rolls for morning tea (ok, and sometimes a cream sponge thingy or chocolate) barely any exercise (ok, I'll be honest, I never did much of that before either!) and I have been having a nightly wine (or two) and now I am two months away from starting our next IVF cycle and somehow have to ditch the bad habits and start being a good girl again but quite frankly, I don't feel like it.  Did I mention I have also put on about 3kg! Wine is not good for the waistline (or maybe it's the sausage rolls . . .) I have decided to start this new improved TTC version of myself on the 1st July . .. watch this space! Oh, and if there really is a coffeeholics annonymous, please let me know! My husband will thank you!