Sunday, June 20, 2010

ALWAYS THE OVERACHIEVER

For some reason I thought I was going to be one of those woman who responded to the IVF drugs perfectly. Much like I thought we would be one of those couples who concieved just by looking at one another. Especially after all the hard work I had put in to getting to this point - did my ovaries not realise how much I had sacrificed for them?! Why couldn't they just do what they were supposed to! I had quit coffee - now THAT was commitment! I am a coffee addict. And yet, I stopped drinking coffee for this IVF cycle. It sucked. I had horrible withdrawls - headaches, lethargy, mood swings . . . my husband would go so far as to pop down to the local bakery at 7.30am on a Saturday morning and buy me a flat white which he would present to me in bed on the pretence that he had 'forgotten' I was quitting. I was that bad without my caffiene hit that he had to tempt me just to have a peaceful weekend together which didn't involve me snapping at him or being a general grump. He knew I couldn't resist when a large flat white was placed in my hand in the early morning (let's be honest, who would!) Eventually the cravings subsided somewhat and I was so proud of myself for giving it up. I actually felt better for it. I was less tired, had more energy and could stay up later and I was a nicer morning person than I had been as once upon a time I needed that caffiene hit to be human. I also ate healthier, drank green tea and exercised more (and I HATE exercise!) But this isn't about my caffiene addiction or lifestyle changes. My ovaries had gone CRAZY on these drugs. Basically the ideal number of eggs they want you to develop would be 8-12 as too little doesn't give you much of a leeway and too many can lower the quality of the eggs. My E2 levels had shot through the roof - those ovaries had gone mad with follicles! My E2 at this stage was supposed to be 1000-2000 . . . mine was over 8000!! Holy crap! Basically, I was over responding and had to go in for a scan the next morning to see what was going on in there and whether our cycle could be saved. I was so upset - all those injections and we could potentially be cancelled without even getting to the good stuff! AAAAAGGGHHHH!

We went in for the scan the next morning and as suspected, I had a GINORMOUS amount of follicles growing in there. My FS counted over 30 before deciding it was futile. We had to cancel, it was just too risky and the quality of my eggs would be crap. Great. We were pretty devastated after waiting so long and coming so far but the good news was that that cycle wasn't counted as one of our publicly funded cycles and we were given a follow up appointment in 6 weeks time to see whether my ovaries had settled down enough to start again. CRAP, CRAP, CRAP!

I needed a holiday . . .

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