The HG and I had a chat on the weekend about whether we want to go for #2. We concluded that we do want another child. We quite simply couldn't conciously choose to have an only without at least trying for another baby but we could both live with just having the one if that turns out to be the way it is (in other words, we could make the decsion to stop and be happy with just C if we got to a point where IVF was the only way forward). But that is now, not taking into account the emotions of TTC and failing and the burning desire that you get once you start. But for now, the decision is definitely not to close the door to future TTC efforts. We will try naturally for one year. If no luck after a year, we will return to the fertility clinic and use our frozen embryo (given it defrosts). If no luck with that then we will just let it go and let nature take it's course. Sounds good in theory anyway! Practice could be very different.
We decided at the same time to throw contraception out the window now and not try but not prevent. Yes, we are/were using protection. Crazy? Why use protection when you couldn't actively get pregnant after 3 years of trying and then resorting to IVF? Yes, maybe just a little bit mad but at the same time, good for the sanity to not be pondering the idea of a pregnancy every month (no matter how slim). However, I have now had a change of heart (potentially too late for this month though!). After telling the HG while walking through the mall on Saturday (random place for these kind of discussions!) and getting him to agree to throw it out the window and if a miracle happens so be it, I have now changed my mind. I've realised I am more preoccupied with the whole 'getting pregnant' theory than I am with the 'I want another baby now' theory. Quite simply, I don't want another baby yet. I love my life with C and I am enjoying where things are at now. Throwing another baby in the mix too soon would be chaos (financially and just for life in general) so I concluded that we will scrap that idea and go back to protecting until I know I am doing it for the right reasons. Because I want another child, not just because I am so scared that I won't get another one that I want to start trying immediately 'just in case' we miss the opportunity.