Friday, November 26, 2010

FINDING OUT THE SEX

This has been the topic of much debate in my household for the last several weeks and even before we found out we were pregnant. The HG and I have very different views and have been at a loggerheads over the decision. He recently said he would go with whatever I decided I wanted to do but when I told him I wanted a surprise I could see the heartbreak written all over his face - he REALLY wants to find out. So I have changed my mind. Why? Well, the HG has been amazing throughout the last three years. He has been willing to do whatever I wanted in terms of treatment. If I told him he had to take Menevit tablets, he took them. He looked after me after my operations, after egg collections, when I cried and felt like my world was crashing down around me. And that's just in regards to the infertility. I can't even begin to tell you how wonderful he was when my mum died.

At the time we had been together for all of about two weeks. We had been hanging out as friends for about 4 weeks prior (taking things really slow given the circumstances) and he used to pick me up from the hospital and take me to his house and cook me a homecooked meal just so I wasn't eating hospital food all the time, even though the hospital was well out of the way from where he lived. At the time I felt like I was practically living at the hospital. When mum was admitted for the last time we had no idea she wouldn't be coming home at all but as things deteriorated and then she was moved to a hospice it became apparent we weren't going to have a miracle. The HG could have run the other direction - too many complications with this girl. But nope. He was amazing. When he got electrocuted (yep, he's got nine lives this one!) and was in the hospital hooked up on heart monitors just down the hall from my mum's cancer ward he didn't tell me because he didn't want to worry me. He was totally thrown in the deep end with my family, visiting the hospice while mum was on her death bed just so I could introduce him and then holding my hand throughout the funeral preparations and beyond. This is a man who had never met my family prior to this and had been in a realtionship with me for all of 2 weeks.

My mum died in July and by September he had proposed.

So, I have decided it is time for me to give something back and if he desperately wants to find out the sex of our baby at the 20 week scan (given that bubs decides to share!) so he feels he can bond and do up the nursery to his liking (he's a painter and decorator by trade and has a million ideas for a nursery) then so be it. After all, he has let me choose the names! But those dear bloggies, will remain a secret! Gotta have at least ONE surprise!

16 comments:

  1. Sounds like You've got a keeper there! What an amazing bloke! I love reading your blog. I really think you should be writing for a living lol. Take care!

    Rach x

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  2. How exciting! I agree w/your HUBBY, how fun it will be to decorate & shop now!
    We hope to one day be doing the same!
    The C's

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  3. what about making some fun out of it,

    Get them to put the results of the scan in an envelope so neither of you can see it, Then, give it to a friend or a bakery who can make you a cake and dye the cake either pink or blue, then cover it in frosting,

    Then after a night dinner together, and a lot of work up to it you can cut into the cake and find out if you are having a boy or girl!!

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  4. Your story is amazing, and I am so happy for you that your dream of having a child is coming true!

    I love your blog and HG sounds like a truly incredible man, I'm glad you were lucky enough to find eachother :)

    Sarah

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  5. Oh this is so exciting. I would definitely want to know the sex but that is also for decorating purposes and well fashion purposes as well if i am totally honest!

    As for your HG - that is amazing that he was so there for you so early on. Definitely a keeper!

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  6. If the Lord blesses us with a child, I want it to be a surprise. We plan to do a gender neutral nursery anyway, so that if we have another and it's a different sex, we don't have to re-do it. My husband isn't completely against not finding out, but I think he'd rather find out. I think it is great that you are finding out for him though. He sounds like such a wonderful man. I think it's great he is excited about doing up the nursery!

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  7. Definitely a keeper hun, Whether you find out or not still awesome feeling when you see the bubba for the first time or when you hold him or her for the first time.
    All the best for your scan.
    Love Kat xx

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  8. I am so moved by your story. I think your gift of finding out the gender of your precious bubby is the most wonderful gesture for your lovely hubby - he sounds like an absolute GEM :) I know how lucky you feel - I have one of those too :) Best wishes to the 3 of you for the special journey ahead. xo Anna

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  9. Meeting your bub for the first time is an amazing experience and I don't think knowing the sex takes anything away from that precious moment. Sound like you have an amazing HG.
    BTW, love reading your blog.

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  10. Whoa, I totally love love love Sarah S.'s idea! Too friggin' cute!

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  11. It sounds like you have an amazing husband, and I am sure that he will be a great dad!

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  12. Thats a pretty big gift that you have been able to give him.. No matter what, the sex of the bubba will be a surprise at the 20wk scan or at the birth.. Maybe compromise with baby #2's sex being a surprise..he he he..

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  13. oh so sweet. it is beautiful to see how you are both willing to make sacrifices for one another. what a blessed baby to have you as parents!

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  14. That is a great gift you are going to give him! You both waited for the baby and it will still be a surprise when you find out! Can't wait to hear what you are having! Glad the pregnancy is going well!

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  15. Here from ICLW :) SUPER sweet post. I love that you're willing to compromise on this. You could always have him find out and keep it a surprise for you - I wonder how long that would last :D Congrats on being pregnant. Wishing you all the best.

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  16. Here for ICLW. Congrats on your pregnancy. I originally wanted a surprise too but we found out and have enjoyed getting prepared for our baby boy. I think its exciting either way!

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