I'm sorry I have been such a slack blogger since I got my BFP. I know it may seem a bit like I finally got pregnant and then decided to abandon my blog and all my followers but the reality is I am just feeling a bit lost. Let me explain - for sooooo long I have been 'the infertile girl' who was striving to get to the end goal. I know pretty much all there is to know about infertility treatements, the ins and outs of it all, the emotions and the angst. And now I am on the other side of the fence and I don't know what to write about. I have survivors guilt. I don't want to bombard you with stories of my morning sickness which has just kicked in, or how tired I am or how nervous I am feeling about my upcoming scan. I don't want to be insensitive to those of you still battling to get your BFP and still living the pain of IF and the uncertainty every day. I have been struggling with FB too as I know my status updates have been a bit 'baby and pregnancy' related and I always said I wasn't going to do that but at the same time I just want to embrace it. I am finally pregnant and I am excited but I am also weary of hurting anyones feelings and coming across as a 'smug' pregnant lady.
You may also notice I have eased back on my commenting somewhat and that is because I just don't know what to say. I feel like a bit of an intruder and I can feel the pain resonating through some of the blog entries and I feel for you so much. I have offered hugs and thoughts here and there but I don't want to sound like a broken record of 'Keep trudging on because you will get there in the end and it will all be worth it!' as I know how hard that can be to hear when you just don't know whether you will get there and there is so much unknown. I know the author of those comments (myself in some cases) really does mean what they say but to an infertile it can be a comfort but also a curse as it is so scary not knowing whether that is true or not.
So please bear with me as I try to come to terms with my newfound status and find a place for myself in the IF community. Just know my thoughts are with all of you still battling on to that elusive BFP and if you are a follower who is finding my blog too hard to read now that I am pregnant, then I will not be offended if you choose to un-follow me as I know how hard it can be and you have to do what is right for YOU. I just thank you for all your support up to this point and wish you all well and BFP's galore!