WHERE ARE YOU NOW?

It is Labour Day in NZ today (which is a public holiday) and this was the day last year that we finally found out that we were going to become parents at long last (officially the date we found out was 25th October which is tomorrow, but this was the public holiday that changed our lives forever). I remember the phone ringing while the HG was outside planting pots of tomatoes (just as a side note, all four plants died before we even got any tomatoes from them! Luckily our parenting of Cohen has been a little better!) and as I was expecting THE call to be on my cell phone and not landline, I was quite relaxed when answering and incredibly anxious when the nurse on the other end announced who she was. I had my response to a BFN all planned out in my head as I was 99% certain it was going to be a negative and was ready to tell the nurse I was ok and I knew that was going to be the result. Dreaming of a response to a positive hadn't really entered my head which is why when she said to me after a long winded introduction of how are you, how has your day been, how are you feeling and finally "Congratulations, your results have come back and you're pregnant" I was completely speechless and didn't take a word of the next few minutes of conversation and instruction for repeat blood tests in. And the minute that phone was put down I burst into a flood of tears and went walking out to the backyard in a daze. I'll never forget the look on the HG's face when he saw me crying and his face dropped as he attempted to comfort me, to which I told him I was in fact, pregnant! And then there were tears from both of us and a fair bit of screaming.

And now we have our little cheeker (the HG's nickname for him because he's such a  cheeky baby!)

I just read back on my blog entry from last year (you can read it here) and very teary eyed read through all the beautiful comments I received to my news. I have had so much amazing support to my journey and I would love to know where you are now in your own journey's to motherhood or life in general? There were many woman who commented on my BFP post and those that came before, who don't have blogs but were in the midst of IVF cycles at the time or had been TTC for awhile and I really hope you got your BFP and are living happily ever after. I would love to hear from some of my followers and see where you are all at in your lives now a year later . . . I know that many of you would have drifted off as my blog evolved with my pregnancy and now mummyhood, which I completely understand, but if you do happen to read this, please drop me a comment and let me know how you are getting on and if you have a blog, let me know the link so I can continue to follow your journey. xox

SUCCESS!

So after all my worry about the sleeping issue, I basically decided the other night was the night to try putting him to bed in his own room. I geared up and was preparing for an unsettled evening but he went down without a single problem! I couldn't believe it! After all that, he just went to sleep. Little monkey. There was a wee bit of grizzling and I actually sat on the couch and read Hairy Maclary to him so he could hear my voice. Last night I read Brambley Hedge and tonight I just put him in his bassinet wide awake and walked out and he went straight to sleep! Didn't even hear a peep out of him. So proud of my little man! The scariest part was leaving him all alone in his room instead of wheeling him in with me. It took a bit of talking into by the HG as I wasn't overly keen on leaving him there alone but given it's right next door to our bedroom, the HG basically dragged me to bed and wouldn't allow it. I thought I would be waking up half the night and rushing in to check on him but I didn't wake up until I heard him talking to himself on the baby monitor at 6.30am the next morning! Next challenge: moving him into his actual cot. Eek!

THIS TIME LAST YEAR

Today I have been having extra special snuggles with my baby boy and telling him how lucky we are to have him in our lives, and how this time last year we had been sitting in this lounge room and hoping and praying that the little embryo tucked up inside that had been transferred that morning would stick. What a difference a year makes.

SLEEPING ARRANGEMENTS

I've dug a mega-sized hole for myself and I'm hoping someone can help dig me out of it!

Cohen has been sleeping in his bassinet beside me in our room since he came home. We have a routine where he goes to bed at 7.30pm, so at about 7pm I wheel the bassinet into the lounge, turn out the lights, change his nappy, swaddle him and then give him his last bottle before popping him into bed, tucking him in and popping his dummy in his mouth (sometimes he sucks on it and sometimes he spits it out). He'll quite happily lie there and self settle himself to sleep (with the occasional grizzle but generally he just drifts off). We have had this routine for about 7 weeks now and when I go to bed he gets wheeled in with me. 

The problem is, if I deflect from this routine at all, all hell breaks loose. For example, the other night I wanted to read so once he'd drifted off to sleep I wheeled him into our room earlier than usual so I could turn on the light in the lounge. 10 minutes later he was crying, so I went in and popped his dummy back in, turned on the night light on his monitor, set it to lullaby mode, watched the eyes drift back closed and walked out. Then the crying started again. Repeat as before. Crying. Turn on lamp. Crying. Wheel him back into the lounge. Silence. Crap! The same thing happened last night but this time I decided to pop a blanket over his bassinet to keep it dark while I turned on the light. 10 minutes later the crying started and we had the same issue as the night I decided to wheel him into our room, so I gave in and turned the light back off and removed the blanket. Silence. 

It seems he is so used to being in the lounge with us when he goes to bed that any change from that routine he freaks out. He's used to our voices, the flickering lights of the TV and the background noise. 

The problem is that he is starting to get a bit big for his bassinet and I'm going to need to move him into his cot. Which is in the nursery. Which is NOT the lounge. Aside from the fact that I am freaking out about putting him in his own room in the first place, how can I rectify this problem and get him to go to sleep in his own room at night when he is so stuck in his ways? He obviously cannot stay in the lounge with mum and dad forever! Any tips? And at what stage should I think about weaning him out of the swaddle? He's 15 weeks old.

APOLOGIES

Once again, I must apologise for having been absent for such a long stretch! I won't make excuses, I just haven't felt inspired to write a blog entry (and to be fair I have been sick as a dog with the cold from hell which hasn't helped my brain function). I thought I would come and update you on where I am at with the breastfeeding dilemma though. I decided to make some changes to the timing of my expressing rather than quit and I am feeling so much better about it and less stressed. Basically I brought forward my nightly express to 8.30pm instead of waiting until 9.30pm which is when I want to go to bed. The resentment of expressing cutting into my much needed sleep time has disappeared and I'm much more relaxed now. At the moment I am only expressing twice a day but once I get over this cold (8 days and counting!) and have some energy back I hope to add the afternoon pump back in. I also think I will at least attempt to carry on expressing once I return to work but not actually do it at work - I'll get up at 5am to get ready and slot an express in and then I'll drop Cohen off to grandma's and then do an express that night once he is in bed. At least, that is the plan! Not sure how that will pan out in reality, 5am DOES seem pretty early! But I'm sure my body will adjust.

As for everything else, Cohen is 15 weeks old on Monday and he is getting heavy! He is now 5.8kg and 61cm long. My arms are certainly getting a workout! The aches have come back in one arm though which doesn't help but this time I know what caused it - an excess of tennis on the Wii! I'm attempting to lose some of this baby weight so I can fit back into my work clothes but obviously I overdid it! Maybe it would be best to stick with the eating chocolate on the couch idea instead . . .

Here is Cohen in a photo taken today - he has currently decided that sleep is overrated and this was his response when I asked him why he was still awake. Cheeky monkey.