INFERTILITY JUST ISN'T BLOODY FAIR!

Need I say more? I'm heartbroken for a dear friend who was once again unsuccessful in her IVF attempt. Why, why, why?! I don't understand it. Many of my good friends are women I have met through the infertility forums I frequent and they are the most wonderful women, who would make the most wonderful mothers. It just doesn't seem fair that it is such a struggle to achieve something that the majority of the world takes for granted. My thoughts and love are with all of you who are still struggling to make your dreams come true and my heart especially goes out to my friend and her husband as you grieve tonight. I'm so sorry honey and if I could come over there to wipe away your tears I would be there in a heartbeat. I know this little vent probably doesn't help you but I remember you having a vent on my behalf when my first IVF didn't work and although you had written that your husband had told you that it wouldn't help, it did help to know that there were others who understood my pain. I know I'm pregnant now but I will never forget the 3 years of agony it took to get here and I will be by your side (among others) until you all succeed and get to hold your beautiful bundles in your arms. xox

EARTHQUAKE

First of all, thank you for the lovely messages of concern I have been recieving from all around the world. I am in Wellington which is at the bottom of the North Island (for those of you who don't know) and Christchurch is in the South Island so it hasn't affected us here. Or should I say, the shaking itself hasn't affected us here. I think it is safe to say that all of NZ and further abroad is reeling from the devastating news and images coming out of one of our biggest cities. I was riveted by the coverage on television last night but then decided I needed to stop watching it as I was beginning to feel quite distressed which can't be good for a little baby who feels all my emotions in the womb. The 6.3 on the richter scale quake hit just before 1pm and the death toll so far stands at 65 and is expected to rise. It is a smaller quake than the first one which was a 7.2 and hit in September, but was at a very shallow depth of 5km so was far more violent than the first causing widespread destruction across the city.

You can read about it here:
http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/christchurch-earthquake/4692170/Christchurch-quake-Cries-from-the-rubble

My thoughts are with all of my readers who live in Christchurch or have family and friends in Christchurch. You have already had such a rough few months after the first quake and now this . . . such a devastating time of day for it to strike and I get teary just thinking about it. My heart goes out to you all.

HOW TO HELP

You can donate to victims of the earthquake at:

The Salvation Army: Freephone 0800 530 000 or online at www.salvationarmy.org.nz

Any ANZ Bank: Account number 01-1839-0188939-00

Any National Bank: Account number 06-0869-0548507-00

BUMP UPDATE

The Bump at 20w6d

SUPER EXCITED!

I'm excited! But this has nothing to do with me. Two very good friends of mine are currently undergoing IVF cycles - one is in the dreaded 2WW and another has just started her FET (you know who you are!) and I am crossing everything to see their BFP's announced in the coming weeks. You guys know I love you and I can't wait for some good news! Please cross your fingers for them!

SCAN PICS

 

Our little man at 19w4d . . .

 

And how we know he's a boy! Don't think there's any
mistaking this one, he's not shy! Haha.

LET THE SHOPPING BEGIN!

Thank you for all your congratulations yesterday! I still haven't quite got my head wrapped around the idea that I am expecting a son! Not that I would have had my head wrapped around the idea of a daughter any quicker, but somehow KNOWING I am carrying a little boy makes it all feel so much more real and I sometimes find myself just suddenly going 'Holy crap! There's a little boy in there!'. Weird!

He was a very well behaved for us yesterday. We walked into the ultrasound room and the lovely lady asked us if we wanted to know what we were having to which the HG replied 'DEFINATELY' (he was beyond excited!) and the instant she started there were two little legs wide open for the whole world to see what he was! I will have to post a pic to show you just how obvious he was being! He then seemed to almost understand exactly what she wanted to check for and moved into all the right positions for measurements to be taken. She said he was one of the easiest babies she's ever had to scan and is just perfect. He was very active, kicking and punching and moving around alot. I also found out my placenta is anterior and thick which is why I haven't felt that much thus far. Apparently it could be another couple of weeks before I really start to feel major movement but anterior also means that when they are really big it won't hurt as much. I have no idea what that means and what kind of pain a baby can cause from the inside out (prior to labour of course!) but seems that is the silver lining of waiting longer to feel bubs movements.

Now that we know that he's healthy and we are buying for a boy, we can start shopping! And that's what I did today - I brought a large chest of drawers to store everything we have accumulated so far (nappies, wipes, nappy bag, jumpsuits and booties), put a cot on layby (chose one that comes with the additional pieces to convert it into a bed when he's older) and some BLUE jumpsuits and bibs. I also brought a toybox the other day. I could have kept shopping for hours but the HG can only tolerate so much so now I'm just gonna have to carry on my new shopping obsession online! Hehe. 

IT'S A . . .

Beautiful, healthy, bouncing little BOY, measuring in a week ahead of schedule! We are beyond thrilled!!!

LAST CHANCE!

One more sleep until we find out what this little one is (granted it behaves itself!) so today is the last chance to add your guesses of sex, date, time and weight to 'The Guessing Game'. Holy crap, I'm sooooo excited!!! The HG rang me yesterday morning just to ask how excited I am is he is beside himself with excitement, it's so cute. Eek!

A FAINTING SPELL (OR TWO!)

I had a little scare on Sunday night when an hour or so after going to bed I decided I needed to go to the bathroom (this is happening alot lately!) and got up and started walking around the bed only to feel lightheaded within a couple of steps before passing out cold on the floor at the end of the bed! Gave the HG one hell of a fright! I woke up to him shaking me in a panic asking if I was ok. Luckily I realised what was about to happen before it happened and lowered myself to the floor so I didn't have the full impact of head or body versus hard floor when I did pass out. Still must have been a loud enough thud to wake the HG though! 

I hate fainting. The first time I fainted was when I was about 13 and was playing with the lamp cord by my bed and it came out and electrocuted me, short circuiting the entire house. I got out of bed (hadn't fainted at this point) and wandered out to the lounge in an utter daze and asked 'What happened?' (hands all black from the electrocution too!) before passing out on the lounge floor! Second time was when we took the dog to the vets. Yep, I passed out cold on the poor vets linoleum floor! I don't know what the hell happened but basically she was explaining to us that our labrador puppy had hip dysplasia and I think I got such a fright that I just started to feel lightheaded and had time to say 'Babe, I don't feel so good' before fainting into his arms. Very embarrassing!!! I bet the vet wasn't expecting to treat a human patient that day and the HG still gives me a hard time about it. I always feel sheepish when we have to take the cat or dog to the vet now. I also nearly passed out in McDonalds after my first egg collection and the HG was in a real hurry to get my out of there after that, so we ended up eating in the car at the beach instead. I think I need to get my blood pressure tested again because today I went out to the mailbox, dropped some leaflets on the ground and bent down to pick them up only to have a dizzy spell right on the edge of the concrete steps. Dangerous! 

Other than that and a few aches and pains, I'm not doing too bad!

DILEMMA

I have a dilemma. The HG and I had a big discussion about boy's names the other night and narrowed it down to two. If the baby is a boy we decided we would wait until he is born and then decide which name suits him better once we see him. My dilemma is that this morning on one of the forums I post on, a lady came on and announced the birth of her son and named him the same name that we had chosen (we have the two but favour one of them more). Is it wrong of me to still use that name since we had decided on it before seeing her announcement? She isn't a hugely regular poster so not sure if she will even be around posting much by the time it gets to my turn . . . yikes! Who knew choosing a baby name could be filled with so many obstacles!

LOOKING UP

Still feeling awful cold wise but I've definately perked up pregnancy wise. The baby has been kicking up a storm today which is really wonderful and reassuring. I started reading some pregnancy mags (which I actually brought way back BEFORE we even started TTC as I was so excited at the prospect, but they got buried away a couple of years ago when the going got tough and IF became a reality for us, and I've just dug them back out) and even poring over a names book! We are stuck on boys names big time, so hopefully bubs is a girl as we have a girls name set in concrete. We have a few names on the boys list so far but any suggestions welcome as I have yet to fall in love with a boys name. I've even figured out which cot I want, so will be off to put that on layby this weekend if I'm feeling up to leaving the house. Have been a bit feverish today and had every intention of returning to work tomorrow after two days off but ended up ringing work late this afternoon to see how busy they are as I really don't think it would be a good idea to rush back into it. This has to be by far the worst cold I have had in years. Blah!