ONE MONTH OLD TODAY!

Sorry I have been missing for so long, this mummy business is very time consuming! I love it though! As the blog title states, Cohen is one month old today and despite my fears of not knowing what to do with a baby we seem to have survived our first month together in one piece. It is all still a learning experience for the two of us though, sometimes I seem to get it right and other times I'll be awake for hours in the middle of the night wondering where I've gone wrong or what I'm supposed to be doing with this screaming baby! Luckily these nights seem to be few and far between and generally he's a pretty content little man and a great sleeper (once asleep!). I do wonder if I am making some trouble for myself though as at a month old I am still allowing him to fall asleep in my arms (generally he'll fall asleep towards the end of a bottle or just after) and not putting him to bed to self settle himself. Is this going to cause me problems later or is he still too young at this point for it to become a problem? Otherwise we are just learning as we go and sometimes that means crying together! 

BREASTFEEDING UPDATE

Thank you all for your comments, suggestions and support on my last blog post. It has been a real eye opener to read and hear about others who have been through the same thing as I have when it comes to breastfeeding and kudos to those who go through it and persevere! It really isn't easy! After having a visit from a lactation consultant who observed that Cohen has a tendency to be a lazy sucker on the boob and hard to latch, I tried a few times independently (with mixed results) before deciding that breastfeeding isn't for me. What should have been an enjoyable bonding time between my son and I was turning into a time of anxiety (me) and impatience and stress (him) so I have decided to continue exclusively pumping and bottle feeding expressed breast milk to him with the occasional bottle of formula thrown in as a top up (rather than waste precious breast milk if he is still fussy after guzzling down 60-100ml of breast milk, I give him 50ml of formula and that way if he only drinks 10ml or decides he's not hungry after all than I am not wasting the good stuff). This is working really well for me and I only have to express three times a day and not at all during the night in order to get enough to last us through. He has gained 400gms in 9 days so clearly I am doing something right! He is a little piglet and I am finding that I am still bonding brilliantly with him regardless of the fact that I am bottle feeding as opposed to having him on the boob - we are still snuggled together and I talk to him and he is happy and content which is important to me. I know that some people who read this blog may frown on my approach but it's working for me and we're both so much happier.

As for everything else, we are learning the art of swaddling and boy what a difference it has made to his sleep pattern through the night! I initially threw the idea out the window as he would scream having his hands tied down but I have since discovered that he is more than happy once he is swaddled and swaddled up nice and snug so he can't escape and I am now getting 4 hour sleep stretches through the night! Yay! It has also helped to actually get out of the house and go for walks with the buggy and get some fresh air.

So all in all, we are doing brilliantly and I am such a proud mumma! 

And just because I can't help myself, here is another picture of Cohen - he is already starting to look more like a little boy than a baby!

MY NEWEST CHALLENGE

Thank you so much for all your lovely words of congratulations! I just had to post this photo of my baby boy in his knitted woollies that his Great Nana knitted for him - so cute!

As for how things are going on the mummy and daddy front . . . well, we are actually managing pretty darn well except for the fact that I am finding breastfeeding to be such a struggle. I never knew how hard it could be and have discovered since Cohen arrived that it is just another one of those 'silent' topics (just like infertility is) that never seems to be spoken about, yet so many woman experience it. It seems I have jumped from one challenge to another. We have latch issues, even with a shield. Maybe because he is so small or maybe he just doesn't like having to make the effort, who knows. I spent 7 days in hospital already trying to master the art of something that I was always led to believe would come naturally. I could never figure out why people gave up so quickly, no one ever actually came out and said that it's because it's so hard! Master C gets so distressed when he isn't getting instant food (he has no patience whatsoever!) and I end up in tears because I feel like I am failing him. At the moment I am exclusively breast pumping and feeding it to him in bottles and supplementing with formula when I absolutely have to. I know it's not ideal and frowned upon but this is what is working for us at the moment. I have a lactation consultant coming to see me on Monday so hopefully we can make more progress then. Other than that, we are surviving on very little sleep (4 hours total last night!) but we're so in love we have no complaints. He truly is our precious little miracle.

INTRODUCING . . .

I am so proud to introduce to you our dear son Cohen Roy who was born on the 27th June 2011 via c-section arriving at 12.17pm weighing 6lb13oz. 

He is just perfect in every way and I am absolutely loving being a mummy and the HG is such a doting daddy! I can't believe he is actually ours!

THE COUNTDOWN IS ON!

I want to take this opportunity to say a big thank you to you all for the support you have given me over the last 9 months. I can't believe that in this coming week I am going to be a mummy! I'm feeling incredibly emotional at the moment and shed a few tears last night as the day closes in on me. I still feel like I need to pinch myself constantly to make sure that this is really happening. It's amazing how you can go through an entire pregnancy and still find the end result to be so surreal and wonder if you aren't dreaming. But I'm not and he is going to be here very soon! I haven't been sleeping well at all the last few nights and so I am extremely tired and hormonal at the moment but incredibly excited and nervous and a bit apprehensive too. Only apprehensive in the sense of entering into the unknown - what will it be like to have a c-section, how is the recovery going to be, will breastfeeding come easily, will I know what to do with a baby? And then there is the happy tears when I imagine seeing him for the first time. Both the HG and I are so appreciative of all your love and support and can't wait to share the next part of our journey with you - parenthood!

I won't have access to a computer while I am in the hospital to let you know of his arrival BUT I should be able to arrange a birth announcement on my blog FB page and update you all that way (whether written by me or someone else on my behalf in which case you may need to check it occasionally as it won't show up on your feed), so if you haven't already and would like to, you can hit 'like' on the FB page link at the top of this blog post. Keep an eye out ladies, there are only 5 more days of the month and as I said, he will be a June bubba!

The countdown is on!

STILL HERE!

I'm still here and enjoying my first few days of maternity leave. Ok, to be honest I am just a wee bit bored. I feel like I have taken on the official role of housewife - yesterday I ran around town and did some of the mundane chores that needed doing (car rego, dog rego etc), baked cookies for our last antenatal class (and then proceeded to eat about 5 before we even made it out the door!), watched mind numbingly boring daytime TV and had a nap. Very stimulating stuff! Everyone says I should get as much sleep as I can and nap during the day, but to be honest I am sleeping like a baby at night and going to bed at 10pm and not waking up until 6.15am when the alarm goes off for the HG to go to work, so I have no need to nap during the day as I am not tired in the slightest. Yesterdays nap was purely due to boredom! Hopefully I can start to find something a bit more entertaining to do starting tomorrow!

So what's the latest: Baby is still breech. I had a midwife appointment on Saturday and she was pretty adament that she doesn't think he is going to move. I'm measuring 4 weeks smaller than I actually am (I was 38 weeks yesterday) so he's pretty well squished in there like a sardine. Actually, he has positioned himself like a cannon ball with his bum nestled in my pelvis and his feet up over his head. Hopefully this isn't going to cause problems with his hips later as it can cause hip dysplasia for breech babies to be positioned like this for too long, so hopefully he hasn't been this way the whole time! I also started getting period type pains off and on the last 3 days so keeping an eye on those too but so far they're pretty mild. Next midwife appointment is on Thursday so will keep you posted!

THE NERVES ARE SETTING IN . . .

We don't have too much longer to go and the nerves are starting to set in a wee bit now which I guess is pretty normal! I FINALLY finish up work tomorrow and then I have 4 and a half months maternity leave up my sleeve, the majority of which I get to enjoy with my little man. I do get a wee bit of pre-baby maternity leave before the big day and I am already starting to make plans for it so I'm not just sitting around home twiddling my thumbs and counting down the days and hours and minutes. I'm hoping to be able to get out and about a bit while I still can and do some cafe dining with friends and enjoy a few afternoon naps! I have a pre-op appointment today with the anesthitist who will be with me during the c-section and then a few more blood tests, a midwife appointment on Saturday and then it will pretty much just be a waiting game.

After not having any braxton hicks since around week 23, I finally had a really strong braxton hick this morning where my whole tummy tightened accompanied by strong period like pain so I think I know what to look out for now should labour decide to start beforehand (I hope not though because that would make his delivery an emergency c-section which would add a whole new dimension to it!). Perhaps I'll avoid walking up and down stairs too much, the same way I am avoiding the raspberry leaf tea! Having said that though, I am really thinking that with 38 weeks a few days away, it might not be a bad idea to put some kind of mattress protector on the bed, just in case! As it is I have a spare change of clothes in my bag on the off chance my waters break while out somewhere! I've heard many stories of this recently so I figure better safe than sorry! I also have my hospital bag all packed complete with the most hideous high waisted undies you have ever seen (thanks to the recommendation of friends who have had a c-sec before!) and 3 pairs of PJ's! Babies bag is packed with some of his cutest (and warmest) outfits, his merino sleeping bag and a special blanket knitted by my Nana. To be honest, it all feels a little surreal and I can't believe that this is happening to me. That I am having a baby. At last. Why does reading that back always make me cry? Needless to say, you can add emotional to the list of how I am feeling.

In amongst my excitement and nerves, some close friends in the IF world have been experiencing heartache. It's horrible and just bloody unfair and I hate it! I just wish that the fertility fairy would wave her magic wand a little more freely. I haven't forgotten them and I just hope that they know that in amongst my joy, I feel sorrow for what they are going through. Infertility really does suck sometimes. Actually, forget the sometimes . . . infertility just plain SUCKS.