THE NERVES ARE SETTING IN . . .

We don't have too much longer to go and the nerves are starting to set in a wee bit now which I guess is pretty normal! I FINALLY finish up work tomorrow and then I have 4 and a half months maternity leave up my sleeve, the majority of which I get to enjoy with my little man. I do get a wee bit of pre-baby maternity leave before the big day and I am already starting to make plans for it so I'm not just sitting around home twiddling my thumbs and counting down the days and hours and minutes. I'm hoping to be able to get out and about a bit while I still can and do some cafe dining with friends and enjoy a few afternoon naps! I have a pre-op appointment today with the anesthitist who will be with me during the c-section and then a few more blood tests, a midwife appointment on Saturday and then it will pretty much just be a waiting game.

After not having any braxton hicks since around week 23, I finally had a really strong braxton hick this morning where my whole tummy tightened accompanied by strong period like pain so I think I know what to look out for now should labour decide to start beforehand (I hope not though because that would make his delivery an emergency c-section which would add a whole new dimension to it!). Perhaps I'll avoid walking up and down stairs too much, the same way I am avoiding the raspberry leaf tea! Having said that though, I am really thinking that with 38 weeks a few days away, it might not be a bad idea to put some kind of mattress protector on the bed, just in case! As it is I have a spare change of clothes in my bag on the off chance my waters break while out somewhere! I've heard many stories of this recently so I figure better safe than sorry! I also have my hospital bag all packed complete with the most hideous high waisted undies you have ever seen (thanks to the recommendation of friends who have had a c-sec before!) and 3 pairs of PJ's! Babies bag is packed with some of his cutest (and warmest) outfits, his merino sleeping bag and a special blanket knitted by my Nana. To be honest, it all feels a little surreal and I can't believe that this is happening to me. That I am having a baby. At last. Why does reading that back always make me cry? Needless to say, you can add emotional to the list of how I am feeling.

In amongst my excitement and nerves, some close friends in the IF world have been experiencing heartache. It's horrible and just bloody unfair and I hate it! I just wish that the fertility fairy would wave her magic wand a little more freely. I haven't forgotten them and I just hope that they know that in amongst my joy, I feel sorrow for what they are going through. Infertility really does suck sometimes. Actually, forget the sometimes . . . infertility just plain SUCKS.