I've dug a mega-sized hole for myself and I'm hoping someone can help dig me out of it!
Cohen has been sleeping in his bassinet beside me in our room since he came home. We have a routine where he goes to bed at 7.30pm, so at about 7pm I wheel the bassinet into the lounge, turn out the lights, change his nappy, swaddle him and then give him his last bottle before popping him into bed, tucking him in and popping his dummy in his mouth (sometimes he sucks on it and sometimes he spits it out). He'll quite happily lie there and self settle himself to sleep (with the occasional grizzle but generally he just drifts off). We have had this routine for about 7 weeks now and when I go to bed he gets wheeled in with me.
The problem is, if I deflect from this routine at all, all hell breaks loose. For example, the other night I wanted to read so once he'd drifted off to sleep I wheeled him into our room earlier than usual so I could turn on the light in the lounge. 10 minutes later he was crying, so I went in and popped his dummy back in, turned on the night light on his monitor, set it to lullaby mode, watched the eyes drift back closed and walked out. Then the crying started again. Repeat as before. Crying. Turn on lamp. Crying. Wheel him back into the lounge. Silence. Crap! The same thing happened last night but this time I decided to pop a blanket over his bassinet to keep it dark while I turned on the light. 10 minutes later the crying started and we had the same issue as the night I decided to wheel him into our room, so I gave in and turned the light back off and removed the blanket. Silence.
It seems he is so used to being in the lounge with us when he goes to bed that any change from that routine he freaks out. He's used to our voices, the flickering lights of the TV and the background noise.
The problem is that he is starting to get a bit big for his bassinet and I'm going to need to move him into his cot. Which is in the nursery. Which is NOT the lounge. Aside from the fact that I am freaking out about putting him in his own room in the first place, how can I rectify this problem and get him to go to sleep in his own room at night when he is so stuck in his ways? He obviously cannot stay in the lounge with mum and dad forever! Any tips? And at what stage should I think about weaning him out of the swaddle? He's 15 weeks old.
I don't mean to sound rude, but there is NOTHING wrong with this!! Babies need to be near their Mum's and Dad's. Have you considered co-sleeping? Pushing his cot against your bed, so that he is always near you? There is no reason he can't remain with you until he chooses to move away. Anyway just an idea. He is still so little.
ReplyDeleteAnother suggestion? A book light for you may be helpful. You can read and still the lounge room light off! :)
i found my monkeys needed white noise in their rooms to sleep. both had a radio that i left on quiet on a cruisy station.. was told classical, but i didn't want to listen to that during night feeds...
ReplyDeleteim sure he will find his own groove soon. and 15 weeks... approaching the 4 month monsters, the time when everything you think you knew is turned upside down and inside out...
They are clever little thing, aren't they? I have the National radio on all the time (low volume)in the nursery up until my baby turned 6 months old (that was when he found it too noisy to sleep). The thing is baby are surrounded by all sorts of sounds in our womb. Gurgling sound of our tummy and whooshing sounds of our big veins and etc etc. All of the sudden it is so quiet at night, it is unsettling for them. Failing that, read up on 'Baby Whisperer book by Tracy Hogg' on how to break bad habits. It works a treat for us. We weaned him off being rocked in the baby hammock; then transition him to his cot; and now sleeping in his cot in his own room. I stopped swaddling him when he gets too big for the swaddle and move him into sleeping bag when he started to kick off his blankie at night.
ReplyDeleteHope this has helped :-)
Routine is fantastic until they become dependent on it!! Lewis is nearly 3 now (can you beleive it!!) and we still have to go through the same steps every night to get him into bed without tantrums! I am hoping its just something he grows out of, though its a bit different in your case with a little bubba instead of a toddler. And I'm not too sure what to suggest, as I couldnt stand having the boys in our room at night - they are so noisy when they sleep - so have always slept in their own rooms. Hopefully someone else can offer some advice there, but with the swaddle I would just keep using it as long as you like. Ryan is nearly 8 months and is still in his swaddle, I dont plan to get rid of it any time soon either! Lewis ditched his at 6 months of his own accord (wouldnt settle one night so I tried him without it and he went straight to sleep so didnt use it again). Jo (sushi_girl) xx
ReplyDeleteI can offer my advice as a childcare worker but as a mum it is probably different. Kids love routine! I would try to change the routine slowly. So don't just put him in his cot. First get him use to his room then if the bassinet comes off the stand than put it in the cot then take the bassinet away. This has to be done slowly like a few night in his room till he seems settled then into the cot. Also DON'T stop swaddling him. When you feel he is settled in his cot. Like a month of 2 then slowly swaddle only one arm then after he gets use to that take out the other then after that you might like to go to a sleeping bag to stop him from kicking off the covers.
ReplyDeleteJust remember with any new routine it takes around a week to redevelop a new one. Good luck!
haidee both my children were in their bassinets right next to my bed until they were 5 months old. When they got too big and had to go in their cot i had the seperation issue and therefore my first child slept in her cot in our room till she was 2 1/2 and our second child is 8 months in her cot in our room and i dare say she will be there till she is 2. And she is still swaddled. Both my kids are great sleepers we never crept around if we needed something from our room we turned the light on if we needed to use the ensuite we did, and they never budged.I hated the thought of them sleeping away from me and that is the reason they sleep/slept in our room for so long.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure I have any good advice, but I'm sorry you've gotten yourself into this predicament. Sounds like everyone is losing sleep over it.
ReplyDeleteMight you be able to go and lay in your room with him for a bit with a small book light while he drifts off, then get up and go back to the living room?
Yep...this is so normal. I almost forgot the days of when we would just get settled into something & the slightest thing would then throw everything off. Whether it's you throwing it off or baby. Be warned, though. Just when you think he'll get used to sleeping in his own room throughout the night, he'll go through another developmental change & it'll feel like you've got a newborn again.
ReplyDeleteOr maybe not.
Every baby is certainly different.
I agree with one commenter who suggested just keeping baby with you all the time. Babies this young just feel more secure when they know they are close to mom or dad. My daughter is two & a half & she still sleeps with me most of the time. I'm single, so it works, lol. And she is a very secure and happy girl for all the accommodations I have made for her as an infant.
But yea, those babies...very clingy, unpredictable, dependent, fragile little people. Good thing they're so cute!
You've gotten lots of good advice, but I"ll see what I can add. At around 3 months, we had switched LM from the bassinet into the crib. He too had gotten used to falling asleep downstairs with me and then I'd go up with him and put him down when I went to bed. We started slowly changing the routine. First was location, then swaddling, then time :-) We found that a small, loud fan for white noise helps a lot. I would suggest adjusting your environment first--instead of moving him or changing lights...try turning everything off except for a fan etc (i.e. whatever type of noise you want in the nursery). You can still talk etc but slowly wean the noise. Then, you can try changing the location. As far as swaddling, we had to experiment to see if it was flailing arms or legs that startled him the most--then unswaddled the other part first. That was our hardest obstacle...I won't lie...it was bad. But--we're good now! Have patience and good luck!
ReplyDeleteYour routine sounds really good! I think a booklight is a great suggestion. I haven't been able to put Davie in her own room yet, either. I moved her from her bassinet to her crib, but we moved her crib from the nursery into our room.
ReplyDeleteDavie's a great sleeper, though, so we're able to turn on a soft light when we need to. We can't let the dogs sleep in our room anymore, though. They snore too loud and that does wake her up.
I swaddled both my kids until about 5mths, so I'd say no rush to tackle that yet, keeping on swaddling will help you tackle the location issue.
ReplyDeleteOnly thing I'd suggest on top of the other suggestions is to try moving his bassinet slightly each night, closer to the door each night, down the hall etc until you get him out far enough that you can put him in his room.
Also, where does he sleep during the day? Have you tried changing that so he is sleeping in his room in bassinet.
Good Luck
Donna from BC Jul 11 :) just taking a sneak peak at your blog.
Don't stop swaddling him till he is ready, my mr 6mths is still swaddled as he just can't sleep any other way
ReplyDelete