Monday, May 16, 2011

INFERTILITY NEVER LEAVES US

On Saturday I spent the day putting the nursery together (at last!). The painting was finished, the cot was up (after a fun Friday night where things didn't go quite according to plan and we had to take it apart and put it back together a couple of times to get it right! Much to the HG's annoyance but honestly, the instructions SUCKED) and the other furniture that had been taking up residence in the lounge got moved in. I pulled out the little clothes and sorted them out, I loaded up the cubbyholes in the change table with wipes and nappies and baby talcum powder, I attached the cot mobile to the cot, put the teddy bears on display . . . and then I promptly burst into tears. I just couldn't believe here I was in MY house, setting up MY nursery for MY son. Infertility never leaves us. I may be pregnant now but the pain of what I have gone through the past 3 years will never be forgotten and I will never take for granted how lucky I am to be having a baby in just 7 short weeks.
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17 comments:

  1. clewisMay 16, 2011 at 1:59 PM

    It must feel so surreal! I only hope I get to your point soon. take care

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  2. JillMay 16, 2011 at 2:05 PM

    Oh Haidee. It has been a tough road for you and I'm sure these will be one of many teary moments. I think I will cry if I ever get a BFP and cry when I hold that baby in my arms for the first time. IF effects our lives and make us who we are. You can't go through a dramatic experience in your life and let it completly go. It is part of who you are and I believe that you and all the rest of us will be better mum's from this experience.

    Where is the pics? I'm dying to see the finished nursery.

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  3. AntsMay 16, 2011 at 2:06 PM

    So true, I'm so happy you got the nursery done hon and I'm not suprised it brought on that emotion-you've been waiting for all of this for a long time!Can't wait to see pictures :) xxx

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  4. JodieMay 16, 2011 at 2:21 PM

    You are so right it never does leave us. But enjoy the happy tears that come. I know once i had the nursery set up it became my favourite room in the house.

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  5. AnonymousMay 16, 2011 at 3:26 PM

    I just wanted to say thankyou so much for your blog, and am so happy and excited for you both and your new arrival!!!! I stumbled across this looking for any help or contact with others going on this ivf journey. It is absolutely one of the hardest roads, and one I was so cocky and over confident that I would never have to travel. My partner and I (more my partner) have deceided not to further our travel down this road, telling him I started to lose my hair hasn't helped, stress does funny things to you, although I personally wouldn't care if I went bald, lol. Anyway, just wanted you to know that you are one of the strongest, down to earth, and real, people I have had the pleasure to read about, and your blog is a god send!! Wishing you all the best!!!

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  6. ChonMay 16, 2011 at 3:38 PM

    Oh lovely what a beautiful post I am so thrilled that you are finally getting to do this!!! Look out for a package to go in that new room. xxxxx

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  7. a field of dreamsMay 16, 2011 at 4:01 PM

    I look at Callum everyday and thank God for him. Sometimes I stand over his bed whilst he is sleeping and just look at him. I'm sure he will think his mother is weird in a few years time! IF never leaves. I can't wait to see your nursery!

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  8. MicheleMay 16, 2011 at 4:40 PM

    I can't wait for pictues! I can only imagine how emotional this must be for you.

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  9. One perfect embyMay 16, 2011 at 4:49 PM

    Its a beautiful post and brings tears to my eyes too...its so true IF forms a part of who you are and thank you for sharing on your blog your whole journey you are one inspirational lady so compassionate and understanding....
    My hubby sounds exactly like yours but thats ok at least you have it how you want...its wonderful to know that through your blogging not only has it inspired and helped you its helped many of us other IF ladies out there

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  10. ReeMay 16, 2011 at 6:00 PM

    Oh Haidee - you nearly made me cry!

    It must be the most surreal feeling, looking at that room all finished and knowing that in 7 weeks your going to have a whole new life.

    Infertility will never leave you and one day I hope your son finds out just how special and wanted he was by his mum and dad and the big journey that lead to his existence.

    I would love to see a pic too:)

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  11. AnonymousMay 16, 2011 at 7:13 PM

    You can be infertile and pregnant/a mother at the same time. You worked so hard together and you eventually won the battle, that feeling must be overwhelming. You have a HUGE heart Haidee, and your son is already so loved. If I had Inspector Gadget arms I'd reach over from Aus and hug you. Xo

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  12. AnonymousMay 17, 2011 at 9:08 AM

    Oh how exciting! The nursery is done! You did great getting everything together so early! I was still putting it together after Davie was born. Your baby boy is on the way! It's so hard to believe it's real, even now when my baby girl is here!

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  13. SaraMay 17, 2011 at 2:12 PM

    What a refreshing post!!! :) Excitement is so close for you!! :)

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  14. KtMay 17, 2011 at 10:40 PM

    It changes everything! Everything...

    I am glad for you that you have reached that point where you can cry in your nursery. You'll always have the scars but you'll also have that gorgeous baby.

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  15. HaideeMay 18, 2011 at 7:24 AM

    Thanks so much everyone! I will most definately be posting pics of the nursery but not until next week after my baby shower so we can show it off to some people beforehand and then I'll be posting the photos. Besides, we still have to hang the curtains and get the couch moved in! I'm so excited! Can't believe I only have 47 days to go.

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  16. AnonymousMay 24, 2011 at 7:41 AM

    It so doesn't! You know my sister and I got pregnant 8 months apart... I listened to her grizzle about morning sickness every week for what seemed like ever! And then finally after three years I got my BFP and it was my turn. Every time I was sick Id think "YEAAAAAH! Im pregnant!" It was such a buzz to know that finally I could have morning sickness to! And even now... my son is almost two I look at him and sigh... he is my little miracle. Everyday I think how lucky I am. Sadly, we are dealing with fertility issues again... so it still constantly haunts me and my life... BUT I still have my gorgeous son if nothing else... and it truly excites me when I see success stories like yours! Congrats! To all the mummas, and mumma wannabes out there - dont give up hope.. have faith! Soon it will be your turn. My love and thoughts to you all. xx

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  17. MariaMay 27, 2011 at 7:26 AM

    i love this post. where i'm still in the waiting and ttc stage, i couldn't agree more...fertility issues never leave us. they make us who we are and will always be a part of us...happy to see you are close to meeting your dream come true!! and i love the name of your blog!! soo cute!! <3
    maria @ www.everydayisacountrysong.blogspot.com

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